Tires and Lug Nuts

About a week or so ago I noticed that my car was making strange noises. At first I thought nothing of it, but the noises grew stranger and somewhat louder. The first arose on my way to my girlfriend’s house. The rear of the car was making a rapping sound. Not too loud, but still there. Every time I took a corner it got a little louder. As I sped up it went away. This worried me because my car has a lot of miles on it, and right now I don't want to nor can afford to buy another. When arriving at my destination I took a look around the car and saw nothing wrong. A little perplexed I went on with my day.
    Several days later a different noise popped from the rear. To be honest this sounded like little kids laughing and a chain dragging all at the same time. Once again I stopped and looked at the end of the car and saw no change in the condition. This time I took note of the weather and how I was driving, thinking that might tell me something in the future.
    The next time I heard a noise I had a witness. My girlfriend was in the car and heard it too. A clank and a ring, like a bell rung to hard. This happened every time we stopped the car. I played it off as something in the trunk, but in the back of my head I just hoped my car was not going to crap out.
    I put up with different noises for a week or more. They came and went, but never got all that bad. This evening was a little different however. I left work in a rush and did not think to take the time to warm up the engine. As I pulled out of the parking lot it began; RAP, RAP! The faster I went the louder it was. I slowed and so did the sound. “Shit” I thought, my car is a finished, it’s going to fall to pieces right on the road.
    I drove slow just hoping to get home. It was Wednesday and I had worked several 18 hour shifts earlier in the week. I was just tired and wanted to get to a bed. As I focused on the road I began to wonder if I should be driving at all. My eyes began to playing tricks on me. I thought I saw something in my back window, maybe a biker crossing the road or something? It was nighttime and I was sleep deprived and now stressed over this car problem. I kept going and again saw a shape in the rear window.
    This time I had to check. I pulled over and opened the rear hatch, nothing. I was loosing my mind. All I wanted was a pillow at this point. Hopping back into my car I heard that laughing again, except this time my radio was not on and the car was not running. I was not that far out of my gourd, or was I? I felt like I was on a bad trip of something. I’m hearing laughing, rapping, thumping, yep I’ve lost it. Sleep deprivation was better then the best drugs. I was starting to hear and see things. I was moving into my own little wonderland. Thinking this made it easier when I seemed to see and hear more things on the journey home.
    As I rounded the last corner onto my street this somewhat fun strangeness turned to hell. First the rapping started again, second a wobble in the rear of my car, and then a CRASH sparks and my car was dragging on the road. As I slammed to a stop and looked around I saw my tire roll by. It had come right off the car, rim and all. I sat and gathered my thoughts for a moment.
    Getting out of the car was hard with my body being so tired. I turned my head to the left; yep the tire had come right off the diver’s side rear. I poked my head back in to get a flashlight when a pain shot into my head. It felt like something had struck me. Throbbing, pulsing, and then cold liquid ran into my eye. I wiped it and found blood, the dark kind that runs from a deep wound. My eyes started getting heavy and I could not hold my body up. I slumped onto the seat of the car with light in hand and started to fade. I had to stay awake. What happened? In the attempt to get up I rolled over, there was something in my line of sight. It was a strange shape and looked almost like a small person. I tried to focus, my eyes fighting to close.
    I closed one eye, hoping that would help. I could almost make it out. A little man, I think. All in proportion, just 12 inches tall. In his hand was my tire iron, covered in, I would guess my blood, and lug nuts on each finger. He snatched one off with his teeth and crunched. The last thing I remember is the evil smile and laugh that come with it.

Fresh Bake Goods

    I awoke early this morning to the smells of fresh bake goods. It was lovely, as if I was sitting in the back room of an Italian kitchen and the doe was still rising. I slid out of bed, gathered some thing to wear, and ventured down stairs.

    Not knowing what to eat I decided to go get a donut. The smells of the morning had set my taste buds on edge and I needed to fulfill them. Just down the street from my home was a bakery that always had the freshest goodies in the morning and this is where I went. Being a nice day I walked the several blocks and opened the bell rung door. “Wish”, out came the fresh smells. As I moved toward the counter, I smiled at the older folks sitting at the tables. They all looked at me strangely, one even pointed with a glair. I found this strange, but being the youngest in the room, I thought it was just my presents in their world.

   I looked in the display case and saw the perfect donut. I pointed and asked if I could have “that one.” The rather short woman paused and said, “Are you sure?” Without question I answered, “Yes” and moved on. I paid for the morsel and moved toward the exit. As I walked between the tables the old folks where snickering to each other, I think about me. I thought to myself, I hope I am never like that.

    Once outside I looked up, it was nice out today, but windy. I walked quickly into the wind toward my street. On the way several people waved their hellos and I returned the jester. I opened the door to my home and the bag of deliciousness as well. The donut was enjoyable, every last bite, but now it was time to get out in the world of work. I wondered around the house for a few moments and found all that I needed to start the work day.

    The smells of my breakfast where still in the air. Taking one look back, contemplating once again, I moved out to my car. Pulling the door open, and sliding the key in to the ignition, I sat and tried to adjust myself. I could not get comfortable today. I twisted, turned, but still nothing. Maybe it was the heat in the car from the sun. Time to go, I thought. As I backed out of the driveway I noticed some crumbs on the seat. It looked like donut. I grabbed the crumbs I could and tossed them out the window.
    My drive was quick today. No red lights, not slow drivers, and a parking place right in front of the building. Hopping out I found myself excited to be at work. The door opened and, there it was again, fresh cooking dough, again. This time the smell was stronger then ever. Distracted by this I did not say hi to most of my co-workers on the way in. All I could think about was food. As I punched in a new person I had never met before stopped me. He looked at me, paused, and said “let me help you with that.” He reached over to my right shoulder and returned with a pile or crumbs, donut crumbs.
    This baffled me, because I could not have gotten crumbs up there. I went into the bathroom. As I looked up in the mirror, I was shocked. Staring back at me was my face, sitting atop of a big round plan still steaming hot donut.

The Son Of God

Lets take a step back in time a few years, 1998.

It was a late spring evening in Southern Vermont. The sky was clear that day so the ground was still warm from the glowing sun. I and a few friends where spending the evening by the river enjoying a few cocktails, Mikes Hard Cider if my memory serves me correctly. The rocks on the beach where starting to cause me discomfort, so I ventured off for a short walk. I trucked up a small hill that lead me into an alfalfa field. With the glowing moon the beach ball size bushes looked like small heads of hair, or tumble weed stuck on tree branches. I'm not sure what, but something drew me into the field, I walk accorse as if on a cloud not evening slowing for the bushes below. BAM,down I went. There is a moment of time missing, but when I roled over all I saw was a glowing rainbow of light, and a figure emerging from it. It was Jesus! Not knowing what was going on at that moment I just stared googly eyed. He should tall, hands on his hips, and said, " Dude get up." I expected something more profound from the son of god, but that was it. He turned, and floated into nothingness.

Swans In A Car

From a distance I see a long black Lincoln convertible, very much like the one JFK was shot in, carving its way into a park. As I look closer I see it is being driven by a group of 5 swans. They are squawking, hissing, and flapping as their car speeds toward a stage full musicians. It appears to be a full orchestra playing something, not to discript. The musicians keep playing as the car races faster in their direction. Not evening slowing, the car barrels into the group. All I can see is brass, chairs, and people flying every where.

Sometimes I wonder........